Jun

30

Liverpool must beware of Torres

Filed Under La liga, True stories | 6 Comments

As Liverpool prepare to spend £27m on Fernando Torres they would do well to ensure his past is not forgotten. I don’t mean as a La Liga striker but as a child assassin and leader of a vicious under 11s Madrid gang called Las Tazas.
Torres became leader of this gang which operated from his barrio, [...]

Jun

29

Darren Bent joins Spurs…

Filed Under Idiots, Premiership, Transfers | Leave a Comment

…for £16.5m!!
Just to remind everyone that next month will consist entirely of Sundays and could someone please call a furnace repair man for Satan as hell has frozen over.

Jun

29

Football managers are funny

Filed Under Copa America, Managers | 2 Comments

“We missed a penalty and then they took advantage of the spaces we left and the mistakes we made in defence. We dominated the game.”
Colombia coach Jorge Luis Pinto after his team was beaten 5-0 by Paraguay in the Copa America last night.

Jun

27

Torres is a massive gamble at £27m

Filed Under La liga, Premiership, Transfers | Leave a Comment

If the figures quoted are true then Liverpool will be taking a massive gamble on Torres at that price. Even at half of it he’s expensive and in Spain there are doubts about his talent.
On his day he’s lightning fast, decisive and deadly. Unfortunately his day is interspersed with different kinds of days when he [...]

Jun

27

A distraught Emmanuel Adebayor comes to grips with the departure of Thierry Henry through the musical stylings of singer/songwriter Michael Penn

Filed Under Football | 3 Comments

“…and can dance like Astaire overseas
What if I were Romeo in black jeans
What if I was Heathcliff it’s no myth
Maybe he’s just looking for
Someone to dance with.”

Jun

26

Sven in at Citeh

Filed Under Managers, Premiership | Leave a Comment

Sven vs Fergie, should be interesting.
Although Sven could make cavorting round a pool with naked chicks and as much Kentucky Fried Chicken as you could eat appear boring. Who will he sign?
I’d put money on Owen coming in, and Ljungberg. Regular readers will know that it’s now time to put money on anyone else.

Jun

24

Peter Crouch is football’s most beautiful man…

Filed Under funny | 3 Comments

…he also appears to have grown another hand on his inside leg.

Jun

19

Chelsea are a joke

Filed Under Idiots, Media | 2 Comments

Chelsea and Jose Mourinho refute any of the comments that have appeared in European papers regarding Andriy Shevchenko. The club and Jose Mourinho are now considering legal action.
This is in regard to stories that Chelsea wanted to sell Shevchenko to Milan. Can you imagine? A newspaper making up story and Chelsea want to sue.
However, I [...]

Jun

18

Shall we discuss the matters of the day, gentlemen? (part 3)

Filed Under funny | 3 Comments

(The third in an ongoing summer series.)
“Listen to me, and listen good, my friend: if you want to waste your time believing that Boba Fett died at the Great Pit of Carkoon inside the Sarlaac, go right ahead. But don’t tell me it’s fact, or expect me to sit here dumbly nodding along, [...]

Jun

17

It’s nice…

Filed Under La liga | 2 Comments

…that the Real Madrid fans speak English as well as Beckham speaks Spanish.

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