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We understand that Arsenal boss Arsene Wenger is being blackmailed with the threatened release of photographs showing him in a variety of compromising positions.

It is not known how the pictures were leaked, but it is believed they have fallen into the hands of the family of young midfielder Alex Song.

Song was loaned to Arsenal by Bastia last season, and it soon became obvious that he was unable to perform the basic tasks required in a game of football. It must have been at this point that the photos of the Arsenal boss found their way into his hands as, shortly after, Song was offered a permanent contract.

An insider told us: “At first we thought there were only a handful of photos, which were all handed over when Song got his contract. It now seems there must be a load more, some of them absolutely filthy; it’s the only reasonable explanation for why he was chosen to start in the heart of the midfield against Fulham last night, when he patently isn’t up to it.”

Arsene Wenger was unavailable for comment today; the Club said that he was at the training ground, “ignoring something which is absolutely crystal fucking clear to the rest of us.”

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I read that in addition to missing out on the Ballon d’Or, Thierry Henry has not been shortlisted for FIFA’s World Player of The Year. He must be sitting there wondering “What do I have to do to win this?” I have to believe that were he playing for Real Madrid or Barcelona he’d have walked away with it.

This bloke is CLASS, recognised by both opposition players, managers and supporters. He may have his off-games but then again who doesn’t? He led the under-strength Arsenal team to the Champions League Final, scoring the winner in the game versus Madrid and was part of the French team that went to the World Cup Final. He has been top European goalscorer, consecutive top scorer in the Premiership and Player Of the Year and on top of all of that is seen as an ambassador for the game.

This decision, once again, solidifies the belief in my mind that FIFA are a bunch of cunts who don’t know their full, padded arses from their weedy girly elbows.

Zidane for Christ’s sake?? Ronaldinho gets it for his umpteen Nike appearances. Cannavaro had a good World Cup and deserves to be on the list but apart from that it’s bollocks. This from an organisation whose leader believes the way forward in the women’s game is for them to wear tighter shorts, the thick twat.

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“Most Premiership clubs have followed what we have done since our success against them and they have been successful too - we’ve got a good record against Arsenal and we know the type of football we’ve got to play against them.”

Ahhh… the wisdom of Sam Allardyce. For those who after years of Bolton’s “uncompromising” approach to football, let me enlighten you - they are going to kick Arsenal up in the air for 90 minutes, plus the inevitable time wasting should they be leading at any point. The “type of football” he refers to I think is Gaelic, or perhaps Aussie Rules.

I went to the Arsenal v Bolton game at Highbury last season and saw the most abysmal display of nastiness and gamesmanship in my life. When Gilberto equalised, it made them actually TRY to do something, even though at that point there were only a few minutes left.

I can’t deny they aren’t effective in the main, but only when it suits them it seems - capitulating against United earlier in the season is one example, but then again Fergie and Walrus Face are buddies and Bolton aren’t going to win the League; United might.

I truly, truly hope Arsenal stuff Bolton tomorrow, for the good of the game and not just because I think Allardyce is a sack of shit with his small club mentality. Also, any team with Diouf in it deserves to get hammered.

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Seeing Stevie G play through the middle last night and the subsequent/inevitable goal made me wonder what has been going on in Benitez’s shiny noggin of late.

For example, when Liverpool played Arsenal the other week, rather than play Stevie through the middle, he plays Zenden instead in Sissoko’s absence. This is a player who has played as a winger/wide player at every team I’ve seen him play for, so what was going on there? Was this just a case of Rafa saying “I’m in charge, what I say goes etc I won the Champions League”? Every Liverpool fan I know can’t understand it. Perhaps last night was Gerrard saying “I won it too, pretty much single handedly”?

SG has had a tendency to disappear when up against a strong midfield, which would suggest why Benitez prefers to play Sissoko and Alonso. Another argument in there is that neither of those two are as versatile as Stevie, who can play pretty much anywhere across the middle, even behind a striker.

However, Liverpool’s main problems of late have been scoring goals and their woeful away form, but the Gerrard fan club (Sky TV division, Secretary Andy Gray) has put the focus on a formation issue. Personally, I don’t think you could play all three in the middle without sacrificing at least one winger and there are four to choose from at Anfield (assuming four at the back and two up front in the “normal” manner). I would have thought a 4-3-3 would do it, with Kuyt/Garcia/Crouch being the main three up front, as both Kuyt and Garcia are capable enough to play down the flanks more so than Crouch.

Either way, the injury (again) to Sissoko means that Stevie has the potential to show the manager why that’s his favoured/best position - but watch Benitez put Garcia in there instead.

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Whatever you might say about Alan Pardew, and I have some West Ham supporting friends who have plenty to say about him, you can’t fault his unbridled optimism. Speaking about European football he said:

There’s no reason we can’t try and achieve it this year with a great cup run or strong league finish.

A great cup run is certainly beyond the realms of possibility but there’s no way West Ham are going to get near the European places this season. They’ll be lucky to finish top 10 in my view.

It’s also quite funny that the new owners are talking about giving Pardew money to bring in quality players in January but he’s got two of South America’s finest talents warming the bench while Marlon Harewood and Hayden Mullins play week in, week out.

He’d sign Kaka then give him a season in the reserves.

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Says Sam Wallace in today’s Independent:

It would be hard to imagine Ruud van Nistelrooy missing a last-minute penalty.

I suppose ‘last-minute’ are the critical words here, because last night he missed his third penalty in five attempts.

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If Gary Neville told Celtic’s Neil Lennon that Louis Saha was going to miss the penalty because his ‘head was gone’ why, as captain of the side, didn’t he get somebody else to take it?

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A few weeks ago Arsenal captain Thierry Henry said that he wished football referees would be as communicative and open as rugby referees. Yesterday I watched Ireland play Australia at Lansdowne Road.

At one point an Aussie and an Irish guy got into a bit of handbagging style argy-bargy. The ref called the two players over, with their captains and said, “You and you got into fisticuffs and ended up behind the goal. 10 minute sin-bin for both of you. Off you go.”

He then spoke to another Australian saying “You came running over to get involved for no good reason. 10 minutes, yellow card, off you go.”

There wasn’t a murmur of dissent from either captain or from any of the players sent to the sin bin. As the game got a bit fractious the ref called the two captains over and told them to talk to their team to cut it out. When an Australian questioned the ref’s decision he moved the play forward 10 metres. No Australian opened his mouth from then on. There was certainly no swearing at the official whose decisions can be heard at all times through his mic/headset.

At all times the referee was totally in control and his decisions were accepted without question. Is there any reason why this can’t happen in football?

Of course there would be an adjustment period when players were getting booked all over the place as they would have to fight their natural instinct to shout and roar disapproval at every decision but even the most stupid of players would learn in the end. Open your mouth and you’re booked, possibly sent off.

FIFA and UEFA talk about the need for players to respect the rules and although we all complain about referees the fact that the two main associations in the game do nothing to ensure the referee’s decisions are final is a huge part of the problem. How often do we see a penalty awarded and players crowd the referee to complain or barrack him or say “I didn’t touch him ref, honest!”

How often has a referee changed his mind because of that? Exactly.

It really would be very simple to implement a similar code of conduct in football. In fact, it already exists but for years players have been allowed question the integrity of match officials, to call them names, to insult and swear at them and the officials have been unable to do anything about it.

Graham Poll was pilloried last week by Everton’s management and fans for sending James McFadden off but the fact is McFadden called the referee a ‘fucking cheat’ and Poll, however much we have trouble with him, did the right thing. McFadden’s piss poor attempt at excusing himself was shown up as exactly that when neither he or the club decided to appeal the red card.

I think Thierry Henry has a point when he says football officials can be more like rugby officials who talk to the captain, who explain their decisions and are accountable because everyone can hear what he says.

At the same time though football players have to be more like rugby players and accept the decisions of the match officials without questioning them constantly. Can it work in football? It would be a massive change but surely one for the better.

Your thoughts please.

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The Ireland manager claims young striker Anthony Stokes has ‘gone backwards’ since he joined Arsenal.

So the football education at the Gunners, the coaching and the experience of a top quality set up has nothing to do with the fact he’s scored 11 goals in the last 5 weeks whilst on loan at Falkirk?

The more he opens his mouth, about anything, the more stupid he sounds. The fact that Staunton completely overlooked Stokes for the game against San Marino and picked Clinton Morrisson tells you how seriously you should take his judgements.

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It beggars belief that John Terry has told on Graham Poll like a little schoolboy. The Chelsea captain claims that Poll told him to ‘fuck off’ when he ‘legitimately’ questioned a decision in the Chelsea v Spurs game.

Let’s get this straight. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve seen Terry, and other players, tell officials to ‘fuck off’.

Now when they get a bit of their own medicine back they run off crying to teacher like little boys. It’s just incredible.

They’re worse than the fans who spend the entire game abusing players and when the player retaliates a tiny bit they go off like tell tales to the police of the FA.

Terry should think very carefully about this. If he’s citing a match official for ‘foul and abusive’ language he’d better make sure he doesn’t give any ref the opportunity to do the same right back. And they will.

Every time you think you’ve seen the worst of Chelsea something like this comes along. Grow up, Terry, you big baby. You colossal tell-tale-tatler. I hope your mummy bought you a rattler.

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